Merry Christmas Daryl Dixon

Erin sighed with a deep sense of nostalgia as she looked at the calendar she had been keeping since the first week of the end of the world - It was Christmas Eve.

In the past Christmas had been her favorite time of year; the lights, the ornaments, the happy faces of children warmed her heart. But now the joyous holiday would pass without much notice or fuss.

It was early morning and the chill in the air was thorough in its attempt to find every hole in the tent as well as her seasonally inadequate coat. Shivering, she leaned out of the opening and looked around the camp. Five other tents rustled in the breeze as her companions slept.
Companions?

No, more like her family. She’d grown to love these people like her own flesh and blood. They had been through so much together and she’d fight to the death for every last one of them.

Rick, Carl, T-Dog and Glenn were like her brothers. She was as close to Maggie, Lori and Beth as she ever could have been with real sisters. Hershel was like her Grandfather, who she missed every single day and she had thought of Andrea often since the woman had been separated from the group over two months earlier. Carol’s death at the hands of the undead back in the early part of December had hit them all particularly hard.

Yes, Erin had grown very close to the little group, but none of them had captured her affections like Daryl had. She watched him as he kept one eye on the fire and the other out for walkers as everyone else rested.  

Erin crawled out of the tent, but not before she gathered the two thin blankets she’d been using.

She wanted to sneak up on Daryl and surprise him, but the crunchy, hard-packed snow wasn’t going to allow it. He turned and upon seeing her, gave a little nod. He looked tired. And cold.

“You didn’t come to bed. Did you get any rest at all?” Erin asked as she wrapped the blankets around his broad shoulders and rubbed them vigorously before sitting down beside of him.

“No. Glenn was supposed to spell me, but I guess he had other things to do,” Daryl said slyly and nodded toward the tent that Glenn shared with Maggie.

Erin grinned. “It’s cold - we all need a way to keep warm somehow. Come to think of it, I had similar plans myself,” she said and walked her fingers up the length of his arm. The lighthearted teasing earned her a small, shy smile. She had been very careful not to say such things in front of the others. Her relationship with Daryl was too new and besides, she had no intentions of embarrassing him.

The sun was coming up and streaks of gold and purple stretched across the pale sky and long, blue shadows from the trees licked at the edge of the campsite.

Erin rested her head on Daryl’s shoulder. Still not used to casual contact, he stiffened at first, but put his arm around her anyway.

“You alright?” He asked when he couldn’t think of anything else to say.

With a heavy sigh, Erin said what was on her mind. “It’s Christmas Eve.”

“Christmas, huh? Never had much use for it,” he replied, stirring the fire with a small branch.

Erin raised her head from the warm cradle of his arm to look at him.

“Never? But Christmas is – was - such a wonderful time of year. I remember decorating the tree with Granddad. We used the old-fashioned tinsel - the kind that got everywhere. It made a mess but it was pretty and shimmery. Once I even went caroling. I can’t carry a tune to save my life but I enjoyed it; especially when the Stevenson’s dragged me inside for cider and cookies. But my favorite part of Christmas was being with family and friends; we’d sit around after dinner and someone would always…”

She stopped short when she saw the enraptured look on Daryl’s boyish face. His beautiful blue eyes were soft and distant while he listened intently to her shared childhood memories. She felt terrible when she remembered that Daryl’s own childhood had been a terrible one – full of abuse and neglect.

He hadn’t revealed much, but from what she could gather he’d pretty much been on his own since he was very young. Christmas would have just been another day for him. He had missed out on so much.

“Forget I even mentioned it. Why don’t you go take a nap? I’m up now, and the others will be any minute, I’m sure,” she suggested and patted him on the cheek.

Daryl surprised her with a quick, albeit awkward, hug. “Maybe I should turn in for awhile. I’ve got some huntin’ to do later on,” he said and got up. He left her one of the blankets and wondered off to the tent they’d been sharing for the past two months.
Daryl was exhausted. He wanted to go right to sleep, but something kept nagging at him – this Christmas business.

Like he’d told Erin, he’d never had use for Christmas in the past. There’d been no one to share it with. His mother was a lush and he barely remembered her ever leaving her bedroom. Merle would have only made fun of him, or hit him, if he’d made a fuss about the holiday.

But now… now things were different.

He cared for Erin. As much as he hated to admit it, he had real feelings for her. He supposed that she was technically his girlfriend. He’d never had one of those before either. Of course he’d slept around a couple of times. No big deal – just a girl from a bar and a hooker his brother brought home once. But, he loved Erin. She’d been kind and understanding of him and she hadn’t been put off by his attitude, which he’d been told more than once could use some improvement.

He could tell that Christmas was important to Erin and he wanted to make this one special for her; especially now that every day there was a chance that any one of them could die.
He fell asleep thinking about what he could do to give his girl a Christmas…

When Daryl woke up it was starting to snow, although not enough to delay his “hunting” trip. However, it was getting colder. He put on three layers, which was just about all of his clothes, and stepped out of the tent.

Most of the others were sitting around the fire warming various body parts and having lunch - baked beans and potted meat. Again.

“Hey, look who’s awake,” Glenn said and waved him over. “Want some beans?” He asked cheerily and held out a can, shaking the contents inside. The beans swished around wetly in their juices. Daryl shook his head. “No. I’m good. Gonna go huntin’ before it gets dark,” he replied.

“I’ll go with you,” Glenn offered and started to stand but Daryl shook his head. “I’d rather go alone. It’s gonna be tricky enough sneakin’ up on game with just me,” he replied.

Before leaving, he sought out Erin, who was helping Maggie gather extra firewood.

“Are you heading out already?” Erin asked when she saw him. He nodded and approached her. When Maggie wasn’t looking, Daryl quickly kissed Erin’s cold cheek. “I’ll be back soon,” he said.

If he thought he was getting away with just a quick, little peck he had another thing coming. Erin wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tight. “Be careful,” she whispered. He pushed her away before anyone could see, but promised he would be safe.

If Daryl remembered correctly, there was a nice neighborhood not too far from camp.

Quietly, he stalked through the woods, keeping an eye out for walkers and potential food as he went. The naked trees made it easier to see any game or threats and the snow on the ground made it easier to track - it was promising to be a good day.

A large turkey strutted out from behind a bush and Daryl shot it with an arrow before it could even “gobble” out in surprise. He walked over and picked the bird up by the neck and looked it over. The old tom had fared well these past months. It was so fat that it would feed everyone. He secured the limp, heavy turkey to his belt and continued on his way.

When he spotted the row of houses through the trees, he cautiously stepped out of the forest. Three walkers wondered around aimlessly in the front yard of a two story house. There were a couple more of them down the street, but other than that he didn’t see any others out in the open.

He knew he was taking a risk; this area had been moderately populated from the looks of it. There could be more inside of the affluent homes, but Daryl had a mission – one he intended to complete.

He snuck quietly inside the back way of the closest house and found himself in a spacious kitchen that stank of rot.

Slowly, he crept down a short hallway leading to a living room. A desiccated walker, propped up against a sofa, hungrily reached out for Daryl as he walked by. An arrow through the eye ended any plans it may have had of an opportune snack.

Eventually Daryl found the stairs, but wanted to make sure there were no more of the undead on the first level before investigating the second floor – he had no intentions of being trapped.

A sweep of the first floor revealed two more walkers; a small child in which decay had made impossible to even guess the gender and an elderly man in a wheelchair. When he’d dispatched all threats, he mounted the stairs and cleared the second floor.

Daryl hadn’t seen many Christmas movies, but in the ones he had seen the holiday decorations were always stored in the attic. After only a few minutes of searching he found what he was looking for.

A cardboard box, simply marked ‘X-Mas’, held all sorts of festive ornaments. There were shiny balls, plastic candy canes and gingerbread men, angels, snowflakes and a multi-colored star which he believed adorned the top of a tree. There were also ropes and ropes of twinkle lights but he discarded those; electricity was a thing of the past.

He picked up the box and started out of the musty, old attic but stopped when he saw something sparkly out of the corner of his eye. Silver tinsel fluttered excitedly in a draft next to an odd “leafy” thing with little white berries. He picked up the loose strands of tinsel and the other item and shoved them in his pocket.  

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Back at camp Erin was trying to make everything festive. She wanted desperately to forget all of the death and horror of the past six months and have a happy Christmas.

As she gathered pungent pinecones and boughs to set up around the fire she hummed various carols. Her mood was infectious, and soon most of the others joined in.

She’d give anything to be able to give her friends gifts, especially Daryl, but that just wasn’t possible. Well, there was one thing she could give her man. But she’d have to wait until they were alone. She smiled to herself remembering their first time together. He had been awkward and unsure, but she was patient as she showed him how it could be between them. Thinking back, he had been the most considerate lover she had ever had.

When the snow started coming down faster and thicker, she began to get worried about him. She knew he was more than capable of taking care of himself, but that didn’t stop her from fretting.

She tried to take her mind off of him by doing a few chores, but she couldn’t take him from her mind.

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“Dammit!” Daryl exclaimed when he tripped over the stiff leg of a partially frozen walker.

It snapped uselessly at him and reached out with fingerless hands. Although it was disgusting, the walker wasn’t much of a threat, so Daryl let it be and continued on his way with his box of goodies.

By then the snow was falling so hard that it was difficult to see and the temperature was dropping at an alarming rate. The wind howled through the trees and it was getting darker. Daryl doubted that he’d make it back by nightfall.  

Erin would be worried about him. That thought both bothered and made him feel good at the same time. No one had ever cared enough to worry about him before and he was determined to prove that he was worthy of her affections.

Erin would have as close to an old fashioned Christmas as he could manage and he couldn’t help himself from imagining the look on her pretty face when she’d see what he had found.

Smiling to himself, he couldn’t have been more surprised than when he stepped into a trap and fell hard to the ground. The sharp teeth dug painfully into his lower right leg. With a howl of pain he mustered up all of his strength and pulled the rusty trap apart.

Gingerly, he brought his leg away from the jagged metal.

Shaking with pain he stood up as best as he could and braced himself against a tree. This was not good, he thought. There was blood all over the place and if the walkers didn’t find him, wild animals would.

With a deep breath he placed some weight on his leg and tried a small step.
He fell face down – right onto the box of ornaments, crushing them completely.

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Erin was beside herself with worry and could not tear her eyes from the woods. It was full on dark and no sign of Daryl. He’d never stayed out this long and she just knew something terrible had happened.

She was near tears imagining all of the things that could be happening to the man that she loved when she felt a hand on her shoulder. It was Glenn.

“Rick and I are going out to look for Daryl,” he said comfortingly and gave Erin a quick hug.

She watched their flashlights bob up and down as they disappeared into the dark, snowy forest. Lori, who was just beginning her third trimester, came to stand beside of Erin.

“I know you’re worried, honey, but don’t get all worked up. I’m sure he’s fine,” her friend said soothingly. “Now come and sit by the fire before you catch cold.”

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Daryl had managed to get only about fifty feet before collapsing again. The pain in his leg was excruciating and he was losing a lot of blood. Suddenly he heard a noise behind him. He rolled over, sat up and shined his flashlight in the direction of the sound.

At first all he saw were the shattered ornaments winking back at him mockingly and then the walker came into view.

It ambled after him at its own pace. It didn’t seem to be in a hurry; it was almost as if the thing knew that its meal wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Daryl picked up his bow, aimed and realized that he hadn’t reloaded!

With a manly whimper he hurried to reload while the walker advanced. It was no use – he was shaking and weak from blood loss and he couldn’t make his cold, numb fingers work.

Thinking that this was the end he lay back in the snow, closed his eyes and thought of Erin as unconsciousness claimed him. The last thing he heard was the crunching of boots in the snow.

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“Oh my God,” Erin sobbed when Rick and Glenn carried an unconscious and bloody Daryl back to camp. “What happened?” she asked frantically as she ran to them.

“He stepped in a trap,” Rick said. “It doesn’t look like he’ll lose the leg, but he’s lost a lot of blood.”

Glenn handed Erin Daryl’s bow which was almost too heavy for her and he and Rick carried Daryl’s limp body to the tent he shared with Erin so Hershel could look him over. There was only enough room for two people in the tiny space and Erin waited outside in the frigid wind. She could see their shadows flickering against the yellow fabric as Hershel worked on her beloved’s wounds. She was inconsolable so the others left her alone while they all waited for Hershel to finish.

When the old man finally emerged from the tent with blood soaked rags she was openly weeping. He walked to her and gave her a fatherly hug. “He’ll be fine. He needs to stay off of that leg for a few days, but he’ll be alright. He’s as tough as old boots,” he assured her. Hershel told her that she needed to let Daryl sleep through the night. There was no way that Erin was going to be able to rest, so she spent most of the night plucking the turkey that he had killed.

The next morning, when the sun had barely risen above the tree line, Erin crawled in beside Daryl and kissed his cheek. His eyes fluttered open and he whispered, “Merry Christmas.”

Fresh tears twinkled in Erin’s grey-blue eyes. With all of the worry she had suffered through, she had completely forgotten about Christmas. She hugged him tight and nuzzled his neck, consciously avoiding his leg.

He held her close and told her what he had done the day before. He needed her to know that he had tried his best to give her a nice Christmas. Erin sat up on her knees and brushed the tears from her eyes. She was touched. Touched and horrified!

“You… you could have died out there! What if you had been hurt in that house? No one would ever have found you!” She said, her voice rising all the while.

Daryl didn’t say a word. He just lay there, looking at her like a reprimanded child.

What he had done was the single sweetest thing anyone had ever done for her. But if he had gotten himself killed…

Something shiny caught her eye and she reached in the pocket of his jacket, which he was still wearing, and pulled out the contents. When she saw what it was, she was breathless.

Daryl had completely forgotten about the tinsel and that other thing. “I know it’s not a lot, but it might be enough for a little tree. It’ll be pretty,” he said quietly.

Erin held the silver colored tinsel as if it were something precious and fragile. She sat it down reverently and looked at the other object he had stuffed into his pocket. She glanced at him and smiled lovingly. Leaning over him she dangled the plastic mistletoe above his head. He looked up at her with smiling eyes and she kissed his cold lips tenderly.

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Thanks to Glenn, who had made a run into town for a few groceries, the group had a decent Christmas dinner.

To go along with Daryl’s turkey there were canned peaches, pears, cherries, corn, green beans and three cans of cranberry sauce. But the find that he was most proud of was a box of instant hot cocoa mix.

The turkey had been roasting over the fire all day and when Lori and Maggie had everything prepared, they called everyone to dinner.

Erin was going to bring Daryl a plate of food, but he insisted on joining the others around the fire. With T-Dog’s help, Erin managed to get him there. Despite his injury, Daryl was in good spirits and she knew what had been the reason for that – she had given him his “gift” and had he been very appreciative. She smiled secretly to herself remembering what all they'd done to each other not twenty minutes earlier and, thankfully, there'd been no interruptions.

Before everyone began, Glenn insisted on saying a special Christmas blessing and gave thanks that they were all together and that Daryl was found in time. With her eyes closed, Erin placed her head on Daryl’s shoulder and muttered “amen” when the prayer was over.

Even though the meal was not very traditional everyone acted as if it was the best Christmas feast they’d ever had.

They laughed and shared memories over hot chocolate and made a game of telling one gift they would each like to ask “Santa Clause” for.

Most of the wishes were practical and useful; shampoo, coats, boots and more ammo. When it was Carl’s turn he made everyone laugh when he blurted out, “I want my own tent! Dad’s snoring keeps me up.”

Later, as the stars were twinkling in the inky, black sky and they were alone, Erin sat next to Daryl as he watched the fire. Everyone else had gone to their respective tents to be with their loved ones.

“What about you, huh? You never said what you wanted to ask Santa for,” she asked him quietly.

He threw his arm around her shoulder and drew her closer. “That’s because I got what I wanted – a family,” he replied quietly.

If anyone had asked her back in June if Daryl’s hard, defensive shell would ever have been penetrated she would have adamantly said no way in Hell. The man that he had become when showed some affection and kindness was a far cry from the hateful redneck that she had first met.

She realized then that they had never said that they loved each other. But with Daryl she had to use patience and that moment would come in time.

He smiled at her sweetly, completely derailing her train of thought, and planted a kiss on her forehead. Erin placed his cold cheeks between her gloved hands, pressed her nose to his and whispered, “Merry Christmas Daryl Dixon.”